I Sit Still in the House

John 11:20 Then Martha, as soon she heard that Jesus was coming, went and met him: but Mary sat still in the house.

Martha and Mary had buried their brother, Lazarus. They had called on Jesus to come and heal him while he was sick and Jesus did not come. Now Lazarus was dead and the sisters were in mourning.
It had been 4 days since they had placed their beloved brother in the tomb and NOW Jesus arrives.

Martha goes out to met him (God love her). But not Mary! Mary sat still in the house!

I can see her in my mind’s eye. Arms crossed, sitting in a chair, looking out the window, scowl on her face! I can hear the thoughts running through her head. Well, thanks for coming Jesus, but you are TOO late. I'm so glad that you could work us into your busy schedule but Lazarus is dead and there is nothing you can do NOW! I can feel the hurt in her heart. The feeling of betrayal, distrust, unbelievable sorrow and pain. This was not the way it was supposed to be. This is not how the story should have ended.

Mary sat pouting!

And when I look at this Mary in my mind’s eye, I am startled that she looks just like me! Right down to the tightly pursed lips and the angry eyes! This was not the ending I signed up for. This is the not the story I wanted written of my life. I had called out to Jesus long before the problem was unsolvable! I had given him plenty of time to get to where I was and fix what I needed fixed! And He didn't come! And now it's too late! Now there is nothing he can do! And NOW I POUT! Cause I didn't get my way!

I sit still in the house!

Arms crossed, scowl on my face. Telling God that he is too late to help, that there is nothing he can do NOW! I let my feelings of betrayal and hurt rush over me again and again. I sit still in the house and I POUT!

And while Mary is sitting in the house, Jesus calls for her! He sends Martha back to get her. He opens up the door for her to come to him. He won't push himself into her life by going into the house to get her but he makes sure she knows he is waiting for her to come. He knows she is hurt. He knows she feels betrayed. And He knows she is pouting! And so he calls for her and then he waits for her to come. He is not going to the grave without her. He is not going to let her miss out on her miracle. He calls for her and then he waits.

He does the same with me! He knows I am pouting. He knows how I feel. So he calls for me and then he waits.

He waits to see if I will be like Mary and swallow my pride. If I will come to him and fall down at his feet. If I will stop pouting and start walking. If I will leave my rocking chair of doubt and come out of the house. He waits to see which I love more, my shattered dreams or Him! Which do I want more, the things I cannot have or Him.

And if I choose Him, he walks with me to the grave, where I have buried my dreams, my hopes, my love. And he calls forth LIFE! No, perhaps not the life that I wanted or planned but a NEW life. A BETTER life. The LIFE he wants me to have.

I can no longer sit still in the house. My miracle is coming. The grave is bursting with NEW life and Jesus is waiting!